Love That Becomes Visible
Edited directly from the sermon transcript of Matthew Miller’s message at Highland Hills Church of Christ on October 4, 2026. Adapted for length and readability while preserving his voice and message.
Some of you may remember the television show Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. It showcased lavish homes, exotic places, and opulent living. But everybody has a lifestyle.
I used to listen to country music when country music was good. Tracy Byrd had a song called “Lifestyles of the Not So Rich and Famous,” imagining television crews coming to see an ordinary family’s life. It made me laugh, but the point stands: everyone has a pattern of living.
Lifestyle includes our habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, and how we conduct our lives. That has everything to do with Romans 12.
Paul spends the first eleven chapters showing how rich and abundant God’s mercies are. Then he turns to what those truths mean for the way we live. Life together becomes visible in how we treat one another.
God’s mercies have made us one body. The minister on staff and the volunteer doing work others rarely see are both vital. There are no insignificant places in God’s work.
Paul begins, “Let love be without hypocrisy.” Let it be genuine. “Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.” He calls us to brotherly affection, honoring one another, diligent service, hope, patience in trouble, steady prayer, generosity, and hospitality.
How much we rob Christ’s love of its richness when we substitute niceness. Paul describes love practiced without pretense, love that seeks another person’s good with moral clarity.
That doesn’t mean naturally liking everybody. We still have preferences and personalities that fit more easily with some people than others. But our common life is Jesus himself, and that bond goes deeper.
Paul tells us to give preference to one another in honor. How much could we accomplish if we didn’t care who got the credit? We expend so much energy positioning ourselves to look like we’ve made an important contribution. If something good is accomplished, celebrate it. Show the person honor.
Paul tells us to compete in honoring others.
Then love puts its boots on and gets into the trenches. It feeds, visits, notices, opens doors, makes room, and sacrifices. We rejoice in hope, rely on the Lord for patience through trials, and keep turning to him.
There will be challenges. When the church stands up to point to Jesus, opposition comes, sometimes even from within. That is where this lifestyle of love needs to shape our response.
Life together also requires us to move beyond ourselves. Paul writes, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” He tells us to associate with the humble, avoid conceit, refuse to repay evil for evil, and pursue peace as far as it depends on us.
These words matter when relationships get difficult.
Rejoicing with another person can require real humility. Someone else’s blessing can expose our own envy. Years ago, I was working hard to make writing part of my ministry. It was difficult. Then another minister friend published something wildly successful.
I should have been first in line to celebrate and encourage him. I did congratulate him, but with my teeth a bit gritted: “Yes, I’m so happy for you.” Ever felt that way?
It took time before I let that conviction reach the innermost parts of me. This was wrong. I needed to repent, and I learned a lot through it.
Someone else’s success can remind us of what we don’t have. Their answered prayer can make us wonder why ours remains unanswered. But love says, “Your joy is not a threat to me. I can celebrate it because we love each other.”
When someone weeps, we cannot always fix their pain. We reach the limits of our knowledge and don’t know what to say or do. Sometimes the most profound thing we can do is sit quietly with them.
Job’s friends were great until they started talking.
We don’t need every answer, and we often cannot make a situation disappear. But we can weep with those who weep.
Paul also challenges the hierarchies our culture creates: important and unimportant, wealthy and poor, educated and uneducated, insiders and outsiders. Everyone in God’s kingdom matters because Christ has made them his own.
Then Paul says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all.” He acknowledges our limitations. Sometimes peace with another person is not possible. But that is not a free pass to stop caring.
Maturity asks, “What is my responsibility in this relationship? What can I do to pursue peace?” Someone will disappoint you, misunderstand you, make a decision you dislike, overlook you, or hurt you. Those things are real and painful. How will you respond?
Can I love difficult people because Christ loves me? As wonderful as we all are, somebody is probably finding it difficult to deal with us too.
Paul says to refuse vengeance. If an enemy is hungry, feed them. If thirsty, give them a drink. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
That does not give evil a free pass. It means refusing to become judge and executioner of the person who hurts us. That is hard. We want to defend ourselves, feel justified, and make someone feel what we felt.
We surrender vengeance to God and trust him with justice. That frees us to act with goodness.
Even the anguished psalms show people bringing grief and anger to God. They turn to him with what they cannot bear. We can do that too.
Love is about actions and decisions. The church becomes most fully itself when Christ’s life becomes visible in the community.
Across this series, we have seen that God makes us one, Christ shares his life with us, and that life becomes visible through love. We learn to live together by learning from God’s life.
We were created for communion with him and with his people. I remember when we first came to Highland Hills and everyone held the bread until all had received it, then took it together. It was a powerful reminder that we were sharing communion with Christ as one body.
If you don’t know Jesus, the invitation is into a relationship with him. He calls you to make him Lord and Savior.
For those already following him, ask: Where is Christ calling me to live differently with the people around me? Who do I need to love, forgive, celebrate with, or weep with? Who do I need to approach about peace or about the envy I have been harboring?
What is my responsibility? How can I pursue peace in the ways open to me?
Do not be overcome by evil. Overcome evil with good. We do that as we live out of love.
